Sunday, January 2, 2011

Know the Basics

Sometimes it's good to get back to the root of things in order to keep a good perspective when trying to accomplish a particular objective.  And if your objective is to make new friends and/or develop friendships into more intimate bonds, then simply knowing what a "friendship" is and what to expect can be very helpful along the way. lists some definitions of "friend" as follows:
  • a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
  • a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
  • a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
  • a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty
We can see simply from these definitions some behaviors to practice with others.  Develop some level of personal regard for someone and show respect for them.  Find ways to support someone or assist them with a project, task, or issue they could use help with; be intentional about offering your personal assistance with a cheerful attitude.  Don't be hostile with them; if you have hostile feelings or a short temper with someone, then you may want to move on to another person you could more easily be friends with--at least until you work on your hostility and temperament.  We all have character flaws, but the weaker person uses them as excuses and exhibits stubbornness and laziness when they don't do much to improve upon or change them.  Express an interest in others and show your liking toward them; be loyal to your developing friendship.

Here are a few things you can read about how friendships cultivate value from Wikipedia.  Yes...wikipedia...don't feel lame.  :)

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other
  • Sympathy and empathy
  • Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
  • Mutual understanding and compassion
  • Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
  • Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

Remember the basics.  Fundamentals are crucial to better development in most aspects of life.  I hope this helps in your pursuit of closer friendships.